The State of Things Between Them

[smalltrolven]

I just looked back on season 7 quickly this morning and was thinking that a whole lot happened in their relationship.

Just over the course of this last season some major life events occurred that would have set most couples running for opposite corners of the world, but they ended up even closer than they started. 

Sam and Dean managed to communicate through Time Itself to get back to each other.  I could just leave it at that, but no, there's a lot more.



They survived a coerced wedding and an unexpected pregnancy.

They gave marriage counseling based on their own experiences to a pair of battling 800 year old witches and it was actually helpful.

Sam and Dean survived the death of their father-figure, and his reappearance as a ghost.  A normal death of a loved one is hard enough, and is usually a cause of a lot of strain in a relationship.  
They also survived the apparent death of their friend Cas, and his subsequent confusing reappearance as several other versions of himself.  Both were conflicted about his death, still feeling betrayed by him because of what he had done to Sam in bringing him back soul-less, not telling anyone for a year and then abruptly removing Sam's wall, oh and of course what he'd done to the world by releasing the Leviathans.  They hadn't even gotten over him being gone, and then he was back, sort of.


Sam struggled through more than half the season to bear his hallucinations of Lucifer to be present for Dean, until he had to give in to them and acknowledge Lucifer to be able to Save Dean and then he couldn't deal any longer, and so it was then Dean's turn to take care of him, get him medical help and find a solution to fix Sam.

Sam and Dean survived without either of their homes (the Impala and Bobby's house) for most of the season and created a new one for themselves at Rufus' cabin.

They had a fight over a major issue, separated briefly, but came back together stronger than ever with only one punch thrown.


Sam revealed the source of his long-standing fear of clowns, and Dean apologized sincerely for his part in creating that fear.

I see their relationship as stronger and deeper than it's been in any of the other seasons. Part of that is Sam's forgiving of himself, and his deciding to be okay about his life and his past choices and their consequences.  But especially accepting Dean's forgiveness. Maybe even partly due to how much older he is now (see my previous post about his time in the Cage).  Dean's still working on his self-esteem of course, and thinking he's worthy of Sam's love, but I think he probably always will be.  All of a sudden they both seem more mature about most things.  Which means I particularly miss the old, immature, brash, irrepressible Dean I fell in love with.  But they're closer to each other now, especially since they have no one else who is permanently in their lives.

How Dean gets back to Sam from Purgatory, and what they'll be like together afterwards of course belongs to Season 8, I have some thoughts on that, but it'll keep for another post.

Comments

[applegeuse.livejournal.com]

Aww, this summary makes me feel all warm and fuzzy, and very content about how, at the end, Sam and Dean've stuck by each other and emerged stronger.

They survived a coerced wedding and an unexpected pregnancy.

This line made me LOL. XD;; Summing it up like that easily makes those plots sound like a really horrible mpreg fic.

[smalltrolven.livejournal.com]

It made me lol too, I can't think too closely about either of those eps, because, eww on both things, so I wanted to get it over with as quickly as possible. (is horrible mpreg fic an oxymoron? I try reading those, but usually they don't work for me)
But I think both the wedding and the pregnancy were big deals and serious challenges to their relationship which they weathered very well.

[applegeuse.livejournal.com]

I've never read an mpreg I've liked, ever. XD;;; It is just totally not my thing, at all. So "horrible mpreg fic," in my mind, is definitely a redundant statement. XD;;;

[akintay.livejournal.com]

The season had some really wonderful brotherly moments - Dean taking care of Sam, boys finally talking honestly to each other again and fighting together. The season could have needed more hugging though :P

[smalltrolven.livejournal.com]

Definitely too light on the brother touching and hugging. I really hope that's remedied in season 8. But I'm just saying the rest of it, what they say to each other and do together, adds up to a lot in terms of how their relationship has gotten so much better.

[reapertownusa.livejournal.com]

I just finished re-watching most of Season 7 for my big bang (most of the series actually) and the boys' interaction in Season 7 is one of the things I love most about it.

Of course, their bond and Dean is why I'm addicted to the show in general, but I loved how so much of Season 7 was focused on conflict with outside sources rather than conflict between them. They had the whole Amy thing, but Dean's treatment of his guilt over that (preferring that Osiris kill him over tell Sam) just reinforced how much he doesn't ever want to hurt his brother. I don't think if that same event had happened earlier in the series that Dean would have carried that level of guilt over it or the secret of it - he would have felt more justified in what he did.

And I think you're very right in that part of their improved conflict resolution is their maturity. This last season found them having to make it on their own and by this point they've both been through so much that they would have to have a greater perspective - though I would argue Sam's the only one that really has a legitimate perspective whereas, like you said, Dean still bends everything to his self-image and skewed worldview.

Oh, and Purgatory...that makes me happy ;)

[smalltrolven.livejournal.com]

Yes, I'm addicted to SPN for the exact same reason bb.
I totally agree with you about how Dean would have handled the guilt over lying to Sam about killing Amy much differently in say season 1 or 2. He was so much more black and white back then, he's really grown up(thanks mostly to Sam's moderating influence).
And yes, preferring that Osiris just kill him instead of hurting Sam is just one more example of Dean's screwed-up self esteem. Like he really doesn't get that him being dead wouldn't be the ultimate way to hurt his brother. Those goggles he sees the world through do funny things to his brain you know?
Onto Purgatory...

[marciaelena.livejournal.com]

I love this post so much. <3

[smalltrolven.livejournal.com]

Oh good, I'm glad. Thanks for telling me :-)

[lyryk.livejournal.com]

This post is a thing of beauty. ♥

[smalltrolven.livejournal.com]

Oh you're too sweet, thanks!

[galathea-snb.livejournal.com]

I agree wholeheartedly with this post. S7 had its weaknesses, but the brotherly relationship was a joy to watch. I feel that they have been in a place where they both left most of their personal insecurities in regard to each other behind them. That doesn't mean that they can't have conflicts, but those conflicts are not personal (in the sense that they mistrust each other or question their loyalty and love for each other). Even the Amy conflict was never about Dean not trusting Sam, but about Dean emotionally unravelling in the aftermath of the S6 events.

All of a sudden they both seem more mature about most things.
I think they both have matured greatly these last two seasons. Nowadays it's so wonderful to watch them have controversial discussions and see both listening to each other and find compromises that both suit them, never allowing the disagreement to become personal, as it often used to in the past.

[smalltrolven.livejournal.com]

So true, the brotherly relationship was a joy to watch last season. That's why it's so distressing that they're starting out the new season separated, yikes!
I think you're right, Sam and Dean have been together so long now, they've learned to fight with each other well, which is important for a couple that wants to stay together long term. Thanks for the great comment.