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Title: 8 Conversations That Never Happened, (But really really should have) ~ Season 6
Author: [livejournal.com profile] smalltrolven
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Word Count: 2,000
Rating: G
Author’s Note: Not my characters, only my words. Written for 8 days of Wincest. Set right after "The French Mistake" 6.15.
Also can be read over at AO3
~~~~~
They’re boarding up Bobby’s broken window so that the living room won’t get too soaked from the rainstorm that’s just not letting up. Sam finishes hammering in a nail on his side, “Still can’t believe you thought I’d want to stay there in that place.”

“Oh give it up already would you, thought you’d be happy with all that normal coming out the wazoo.” Dean answers over the noise of his pounding in another nail.

Sam points the hammer at Dean, “There was nothin’ normal about that Padalecki’s life dude, nothin’.”

“He had money, a wife, that awesome house.” Dean ticks off all the highlights of the strange world they’ve just returned from.

“But he was a jerk. He didn’t even talk to you. Who does that after working together for that many years?” Sam asks. “I got the feeling that everyone that worked there thought there had been something between the two of them, and that they’d broken up or something.”

“Yeah me too, that’s why they were so surprised we were talking.” Dean agrees, glad Sam picked up on that too.

“’nother reason I didn’t want to stay there.” Sam says reaching into the tin for another nail.

Dean ducks his head and smiles, remembering Sam saying “we’re not even brothers here” as his bottom-line explanation for wanting to leave. “But you would have been safe if we’d stayed there Sammy.”

Sam shakes his head. “I don’t think so, not without you there.”

“But I would have been stuck there too. And we weren’t brothers so…” Dean says, leaving the ending open for Sam to interpret as he likes (or not).

“So what? That was my point, we wouldn’t have been family anymore.” Sam insists.

“Yeah I know, but other things would have been possible instead, since we weren’t related.” Dean says patiently waiting for Sam to figure it out.

Sam inhales sharply when he finally gets it, “Oh.”

After a few moments of stunned silence that he even brought the topic up, Dean asks, “That all you’re gonna say, oh?”

“I’m not sure what to think. You mean you’d want to if we could, like legally and stuff?” Sam asks.

“Well, yeah, of course. Wouldn’t you?” Dean asks, suddenly and uncomfortably unsure of Sam’s answer.

“I…uh, yeah of course, but honestly, I haven’t thought about it in a long, long time.” Sam stammers, still surprised more than anything that Dean has brought up this idea of them making their relationship permanent and official.

“Since when?” Dean asks.

“Since I was a kid, and Susie Halpert was bugging everyone in our group about our plans for the future at a party once. So I had to come up with something, and I remember I thought of you first.” Sam confesses.

“Oh.” Dean says quietly, with a whole lot of disappointment crammed into those two little letters.

“Just oh?” Sam asks, worried now that he’s let Dean down somehow with his honest answer.

“Yeah, I mean, wasn’t that when you were like twelve or something? And you haven’t thought about it since then?” Dean asks, worried that he’s given away too much yet again, put too much pressure on Sam to want what he wants.

“Never seemed like a possibility for us, so I didn’t want to torture myself with what-ifs, just living life with you day to day is exciting enough you know?” Sam answers carefully.

“Just wish I could give you that part of normal.” Dean says quietly.

“It’s really not on my list of things I’m stressin’ over Dean. As long as you’re safe and we’re together, I’m counting it as good these days.”

“Livin’ the dream eh Sammy?”

“Yeah, pretty much. Simple tastes, makes it easier to have a chance to be happy.”

“You’re way too well-adjusted dude.” Dean laughs, shaking his head.

“All your fault.” Sam answers with a huge smile that brings out his dimples. “Hey, when’s Bobby getting’ back?”

“Hopefully after we get the window replaced tomorrow, why?” Dean says, putting the hammers back in the battered red metal tool-box.

“Can we make a fire and just sleep down here?” Sam asks, even though he knows it makes him sound like a five year old.

“Why not?” Dean agrees, because Sam never asks for anything these days, except for his soul-less memories and he’s not getting those if Dean has anything to say about it.

They make a pile of blankets and pillows on the floor in front of the fire that Dean gets going so that it’s putting out enough heat to counter the wind whistling through the boarded-up broken window across the room. Staring into the fire, not talking, trading the whisky bottle back and forth they settle back into themselves, and their world.

Dean finally breaks the silence, “It really was weird seeing her with you.”

“Who? Ruby, uh I mean Genevieve?”

Dean looks at Sam’s face closely in the flickering light, watching to see if he’s getting the whole truth or not this time. “Yeah.”

Sam feels Dean’s scrutiny and shifts around so he can meet his eyes directly, unwavering so that Dean can see the truth, “Nothing happened that night Dean.”

Dean smile flickers and fades. “I figured. That’s not it.”

“What is then?” Sam asks, worried about the disappearance of his brother’s smile.

“Just the thought that there’s another universe out there where you were supposed to end up with her.” Dean says.

“Instead of you.” Sam sighs.

“Yeah.” Dean answers, looking up at Sam, searching his eyes to see how much this idea bother him.

“Well, that’s what I meant earlier, I think we were supposed to be together there too, but they couldn’t or didn’t because of the whole acting thing.” Sam explains.

“Oh, right. I guess that’d be pretty sad, especially if they knew what they were missing out on.” Dean thinks he’d never have been able to do it himself, not for all the money those two obviously were swimming in.

“It would. I’m glad we’re in this world. Yeah it’s weird that we’re brothers and we’re like this, you know, together and all. But I can’t imagine denying my feelings for you just to have a career.”

“Good thing we picked hunting then.” Dean says with a sardonic laugh to cover up how relieved he is that Sam feels the same way about this.

“More like it picked us, but yeah, it’s definitely a good thing. Although I would really love to have an alpaca if we ever settle down somewhere.” Sam says, looking at Dean with an innocent blank gaze.

Dean elbows him sharply, sloshing some of the whisky out of the bottle. “Dude, no alpacas. It’ll be hard enough to deal with having a dog.”

“What, you think I’m going to want a dog?” Sam asks.

“Yeah, of course you are. A big smelly one that’ll mess up my car all the time and want to sleep on our bed.” Dean says, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world, forgone conclusion, all that.

“But I’ll have someone to go running with so you won’t have to come up with excuses every morning.” Sam says with a grin, so happy that Dean’s thought about what their future might be like.

“As long as I can train him to bring me beers from the fridge, I’ll just deal with it.” Dean says, glad to be talking about their future as if it’s something that might actually happen for them at some point.

“Sounds like a plan. What about you, where are we putting in your giant fish tank?” Sam asks with a laugh.

“Oh god, that was hilarious, in his trailer of all places. Better than your tanning bed though.”

“Hey, I… he had to look good.” Sam protests.

“I know, but in the living room? Almost as tacky as those paintings.” Dean laughs.

“Those were making my eyes bleed.” Sam admits.

“So what was it like, sleeping with her?” Dean asks, because he’s not quite done with this subject of fake Ruby.

“She uh, was nice, a little confused I think, but it was a nice room, big bed that I actually fit in. Didn’t sleep very well though, because it wasn’t you in the bed with me.”

“She didn’t come on to you though?” Dean asks, more than a little worried about hearing the answer.

“A little, but the honey-I-have-a-headache excuse worked pretty well. She was going on a lot about how you called her Ruby again and how it pissed her off that you kept doing that.”

“I guess I was a jerk there too.” Dean says, recalling her expression when he’d called her that, that prissy just ate-a-lemon face that he’d hated on Ruby too.

“You’re not a jerk Dean.” Sam says emphatically.

“Sometimes I am.” Dean shrugs.

“Maybe sometimes, but not like those guys, not even close.” Sam says with real feeling, because he’s always hated it that Dean thinks that badly of himself.

“Think Bobby will believe us when he hears about all the other worlds out there?” Dean asks.

“Yeah, he will, of course. Dean you think it’d be safe to . . . you know?” Sam bites at side of Dean’s neck, lips moving up to suck lightly at his earlobe.

Dean shivers at the feeling. “Right here? In front of the fire in Bobby’s living room? Where he could walk in unannounced at any moment?”

“Fine, you’re right, just asking if you’d make an exception to the rule tonight.” Sam says, not really put out about Dean saying no, but wishing he’d just go for it tonight, he wants to reconnect after their separation in that strange world.

“I just always feel like it’s wrong if we do anything here at his house. It’s bad enough we lie to him about us.” Dean answers, hoping that Sam gets that it isn’t about not wanting him, it’s never that.

“I get it Dean, I’m sorry. You just got me in the mood with what you were saying before.”

“About the if we weren’t brothers stuff?” Dean asks.

“Yeah.” Sam answers.

“Had no idea that’d be a turn-on Sammy.” Dean says with a rumbling purr.

“It’s not that, well it is, but it’s the idea that you’ve thought about it.” Sam answers, a little flustered.

“Far as I’m concerned, being with you is permanent, where I’m s’posed to be.” Dean says, figuring a little more of that kind of talk will be even more of a turn-on for Sam even if this isn’t going anywhere tonight.

“So you wishing I could have normal and safe with fake Ruby was more about the safe part of it then?” Sam manages to ask.

“Yeah. Because I haven’t been so great on providing that for you lately.” Dean says.

“Dude, you got me my soul back. I’d say that’s keeping me pretty damned safe.”

“Yeah alright, but the way things have been with the angel weirdness, I’m just not sure what’s comin’ next.” Dean says.

“We never know that, part of the job right? As long as we stick together, it seems to work out.” Sam assures him, holding Dean tight.

“You and me against the world, no matter what world we’re in.” Dean murmurs as he falls off the cliff into sleep.

Sam smiles at his brother’s words and whispers. “Pretty much sums it up.” As he follows right behind him.

Bobby walks in early the next morning and finds Sam and Dean curled up in front of a banked fire, ensconced in a pile of all the blankets in the house. Wrapped up together just as tightly as always. He sighs and wishes they’d just tell him already, he’s never seen them happy unless they’re together and yeah it’s weird and they’re brothers, but they’re still his boys. And all he wants for them, is to be happy together after all the crap that the forces of heaven and hell have thrown at them. Then he wonders why the hell his window is broken and hopes there’s a good story behind it.

~FIN~

Date: 2013-09-28 01:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] runedgirl.livejournal.com
Awwww, boys. Definitely a conversation that should have happened :)

Date: 2013-09-30 05:47 pm (UTC)
ext_795719: dean hugging sam (Default)
From: [identity profile] smalltrolven.livejournal.com
Glad you agree! Thanks.

Date: 2013-09-28 07:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] firesign10.livejournal.com
This is so marvelous!!!! Perfectly done!

Date: 2013-09-30 05:47 pm (UTC)
ext_795719: dean hugging sam (Default)
From: [identity profile] smalltrolven.livejournal.com
Oh thank you so much!

Date: 2013-09-28 08:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] imaginecoolname.livejournal.com
This was wonderful and I absolutely loved that conversation! It gave me all the mushy wincest feels on top of J² ones, so what more can a fangirl ask for?! ;)

I also have such a thing for Sam and Dean talking about their commitment to each other, and I love fics where they actually get married or have some sort of commitment ceremony, so you touching on that subject made me very happy. :)

And the ending with Bobby was lovely as well - of course he knows about them and still loves them! I really miss him on the show.

So yeah, thank you so much for this!

Date: 2013-09-30 05:48 pm (UTC)
ext_795719: dean hugging sam (Default)
From: [identity profile] smalltrolven.livejournal.com
Glad to hear you enjoyed it. I really miss Bobby on the show too.

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