I Carved Your Name Across My Eyelids

[smalltrolven]

Fic title:  I Carved Your Name Across My Eyelids

Author name:  smalltrolven

Genre: Wincest, Episode Coda, Established Relationship
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Rating:  barely R
Word count:  5.500
Characters: Sam, Dean
Warnings: Set immediately following “Time After Time” episode 7.12.
Summary:  Turns out Sam was very very busy while Dean was gone in 1944, Dean is surprised and pleased at what he’s accomplished in his absence.
Disclaimer:  I only own these words, that’s it, nothing else.
Authors Note: Pretend for me that Dean was gone for say three days in 1944 okay? This fic is all because of those beautiful stained-glass windows.  Title comes from The Arcade Fire song “Crown of Love.

Read it here on AO3

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Crown Of Love – The Arcade Fire

They say it fades if you let it,
love was made to forget it.
I carved your name across my eyelids,
you pray for rain I pray for blindness.

“You should have seen it Sam, it looked just like in the movies.  Even the light switches made that loud cachunk sound, and the cars, man!  But the people were really different than I’d expected.  I wish I had my hat though, it was the best part of this whole outfit, but it got knocked off before I came back.”  They’re waving goodbye to Jody Mills as she pulls out of the farm house driveway leaving them to drive herself back to South Dakota.

“Yeah, I wish I’d have seen it Dean, you look good in hats, like that cowboy one we brought back from visiting Colt.” Sam grins at Dean remembering what happened with all those authentic western clothes after they’d returned back to their time.

“You would have liked Ezra, Eliot’s assistant.  She was a lot like Bobby, even called us idjits at one point.  And man, she knew her stuff.  She kissed me though, said she was lucky.   Guess she was.” Dean puts his arm around Sam’s waist and pulls him in close so their hips are bumping as they walk back to their car of the week.  Sam puts his arm around Dean’s shoulders a little tentatively because they don’t usually do this in public.  Dean knows Sam needs this closeness right now, hell he’ll admit to himself that he needs it too, because they were separated for several days and it didn’t look like he’d ever get back here to be with Sam. 

“Kissed you? Like as in a real kiss?” Sam tries not to tense up and looks down at Dean.

“Yeah, surprised the hell out of me, but yeah, I guess it was a real kiss.  Nothin’ to get jealous over though ok?   She was an older, big, sassy lady, not my type, too much like Bobby you know?  But oh I almost forgot, Sam, the house though, you know the one we were crashing in?  It was so beautiful when it was new.  It makes me sad to think about it being in the state it’s in now.” Dean can see that Sam’s relaxed now and he catches a funny look on Sam’s face.  Cat that got the canary or something like that.

“Well funny thing, it was up for auction while you were gone Dean.” Sam answers him with a smile in his voice.

“Yeah?  Hope someone bought it that’s going to fix it up, a beauty like that it’d be a real shame to knock it down for condos.”

“I heard a nice young couple bought it, they’re moving here from out of state, settling down, and they’d just come into some money.”

“How’d you hear so much, you start hanging out with realtors or something?”

“No, Jody told me, c’mon, I’ve got something to show you.”  Sam reaches to open the driver’s side door at the same time as Dean.  “Dean, let me drive.  You’ve just time-traveled, who knows what the side effects are.”

“Fine, I don’t want to drive this stupid car with the unnecessary spoiler and automatic everything.”

“Takes getting used to doesn’t it?” Sam asks sympathetically.

“No that’s not it, I don’t want to get used to it.  I want my baby back.  Where we going anyways, back to the house?”

“Yeah, something like that, just be patient, okay?” Sam can’t help smiling, he thinks Dean doesn’t see it, but of course he does, Dean is starved for seeing any of Sam’s smiles these days, no matter what they mean, so he never misses them.

“Whatever. “ Dean looks out the window at the pretty tree-lined streets of the neighborhood they’re driving through.

They pull up into the driveway of the old house not too much later, the chain-link fence having been removed.

“Did you leave something here that we need to pick up?”

“Kinda.  Just, humor me okay Dean?”  Sam says, trying to keep a straight face and failing utterly as they walk up the front walkway together.

“Alright, alright.   Where’s my duffle, I really need to change out of this wool suit, I don’t want to wreck it”.  Dean’s wondering what is so damn funny anyways, but Sam isn’t talking.

“I left them in here, c’mon let’s go in.”  As they climb up the front steps Sam suddenly swoops Dean up into his arms and goes through the doorway.

“What the hell are you doing Sam?” Dean blurts out in surprise, momentarily flailing then grabbing Sam around the neck for balance.

“Carrying you over the threshold, what’s it look like?”  Sam grins down at him closing the front door behind them with his foot.

“What?” Dean can’t help the squeak of surprise in his voice that he’ll never admit to in a million years, wondering what Sam is talking about.  Immediately starting to worry that he might be hallucinating or something worse.

“Carrying you over the threshold of our house.”  Sam looks so happy and excited that Dean’s stomach swoops and drops with the thrill of the thought.

“What do you mean our house?” Dean demands, that swoop in his stomach increasing as he realizes how much being carried by Sam like this is completely turning him on, another something he’ll never admit in a million years.

“Yeah Dean, it’s ours.  All ours.  I bought it at the auction yesterday.”  Sam proclaims, obviously proud of himself, but a little hesitant in how Dean will react to the news.

“What? No way! And put me down right now! What, are you seriously carrying me up the stairs?” Dean half-heartedly tries to escape Sam’s arms, not sure now if he could actually do it even if he wanted to, which is part of the turn-on that he’ll never admit to in a million years, that his brother is that much bigger and stronger than him.

“Yes I am, obviously, just hold on and stop wiggling.”  Dean’s arms tighten around Sam’s neck and he tries to relax the rest of his body.  When they reach the first bedroom doorway, Sam sets him down carefully, but not letting go, still holding him loosely in the circle of his arms. “Okay, sorry, just uh, trying to be romantic since I know you like that stuff even though you pretend not to.”

“Whatever dude, but cool, really this is our house now?” Dean looks up at his brother with a big smile, arms still around his neck.

“It was a total steal Dean, at the auction, really, really cheap.  Of course it needs tons of work, but most of it is cosmetic, the foundation and roof are good. And I figure you know a lot about construction and stuff since you were doing that for a year, and you can teach me and we can work on it together.”  Sam realizes he’s babbling at a mile a minute like he doesn’t want Dean to ask anything just accept that it’s happened.

“What made you buy the house Sam?”  Dean asks in that quiet authoritative big brother voice that works every time, it cannot be ignored and it must be obeyed instantly.

Sam swallows and tightens his arms around Dean’s back, he looks nervous. “Well, uh you were just gone you know?  And I didn’t know for sure if I was going to figure out how to get you back.  And I knew if I didn’t get you back when we summoned Chronos that I wasn’t going to go anywhere until I figured it out.  I wasn’t going to just pick up and leave this place. And I don’t have anywhere to live anyways, without you or the Impala.  So I used some of the money Bobby left us.  And I bought it just hoping it would work out, so that I’d be here, so that I could find you, so you could find me.  I thought maybe we could be happy here for a while if you came back to me.”

No response.  Sam watches the warring emotions as they pass over Dean’s open face, sadness, fear, resignation, happiness, then joy or hope, he’s not sure exactly which has settled there. 

Sam rubs circles into Dean’s back trying to coax him, “Say something Dean, please?”

“I’m just…its great Sam, I’m glad you did it.”

“Really?  I was worried you’d be mad.  Cause now we’re stuck with a fixer-upper house.”

“Naw, not me.  It’ll give us something to do until we can deal with the Leviathans.  And I’m glad that you bought it for us.  What name did you buy it under?”

“You mean what names.”  Sam grins and waggles his eyebrows ridiculously.

“Huh?”  Dean really doesn’t get what Sam’s on about and why he’s doing that weird shit with his eyebrows.

“Well it’s ours, you and me together, not just mine.  I was trying to stay positive, that you were going to come back to me.  Jody helped me out, she wangled the id’s for us somehow, think she went off of what Frank had got us started with.  So uh, welcome home Dean Smith.”  Sam leans down and whispers the last into Dean’s ear, kissing him in that soft tender place just behind it just to see if Dean will shiver like he always does.

Dean finishes shivering and pulls back to look at Sam’s face as he asks, “And so who are you then?”

“Your legal spouse Sam Smith of course.” Sam grins so widely, eyes sparkling with amusement and joy.

“So you took my name huh?” Dean grins back at him, mirroring the amusement and joy.

“Yeah, thought it would be sneakier that way, Smith is the ultimate anonymous last name, Wesson is a little unusual.”

“So we’re not brothers or Winchesters anymore then?”

“Not according to the paperwork.”

Dean gets a funny far-away look in his eyes as if he’s missed something, “Huh.”

“What does that huh mean?” Sam looks at him with concern, worrying that the spouse thing may have gone too far.  But he thought they’d talked about it before, how they wished they could make that commitment to each other except for the pesky legal details of them being brothers.

“Just, wondering about the spouse thing and the carrying over the threshold thing.  Think I missed the proposal and wedding in there somewhere Sam.”

“Well, yeah, I guess so.  You were in the wrong time and all.  But I thought it was a pretty sure thing you’d say yes when you got back.”

“That was a good bet, not like anyone else is around to ask me.”  Dean laughs.

“Wait, you mean you were hoping that at some point there’d be someone else besides me asking you to get married?” Sam’s trying not to be hurt at Dean’s words, but he is, he thought he was enough for Dean.

“No. No! Of course not Sam.  C’mon you know I was kidding.  Don’t do that. There’s no one else, not ever.  So just quit it.  We don’t want to have to pay for a divorce already anyways.”

“No we don’t, that’s for sure.”

“I’d rather spend the money fixing up this place or having a honeymoon at some point.”

“Me too.  And I figure the Leviathans are looking for brothers, thought this might help throw them off, along with the name change.  Plus us buying a house is the last thing we’d do, so they won’t be looking out for it.” 

“Trying to not think like ourselves, that’s pretty damn smart Sam.”

“Yeah?”

“Uh huh.”

“What does that mean?”

“Just, I’m impressed.  You got a lot done while I was gone Sam.  Now we’re married, owners of a house for god’s sake, and you figured out how to get me back here.” 

“Well, I didn’t do it all myself, I did have Jody’s help.  She’s really something.  Oh and she’s cool with us you know, not being brothers now, didn’t seem to surprise her.  I guess Bobby had told her or she’d guessed somehow.  Anyways, we ended up talking a lot about Bobby.”

“Yeah?”

“She saw a whole other side of him than we ever did.  So we swapped a bunch of stories and got to know each other.  Found a gift from Rufus in one of the boxes of books she brought over from storage too.  Thought you might like it.”

“Lay it on me then oh husband of mine.”Dean says sarcastically as Sam pulls away to look for Rufus’ gift.

“I think there are a couple glasses around here.”  He pours out two small glasses of whiskey and hands one to Dean.  “Here, cheers!”

“What should we drink to then Mr. Smith?” Dean grins up at him, green eyes twinkling with anticipation.

“How about a long and happy life together in this house Mr. Smith?”  Sam grins back, full-on dimples displayed for what seems like the first time in ages to Dean.

“Sounds good, l’chaim!”  Dean uses the traditional Jewish toast consciously in memory of Rufus.

They clink glasses and down the black label whisky.  “Man that’s smooth compared to the usual Hunter’s Helper, wish I could always drink this stuff but it’s so expensive.”

“Well, if you drank less, you could afford it Dean.” Sam tries not to sound preachy or moralistic, just matter-of-fact in the hopes that Dean won’t take it as criticism or nagging.

“You know that’s true, hadn’t thought of it that way, you’re just too smart sometimes Sam.  I’ll work on it okay?  The drinking less thing.  I promise.”

“Good, thanks, that’s all I’m asking for.  How about you ask me for something in return to keep it fair?”  Sam’s relieved that Dean didn’t overreact and seemed to maybe take the advice about drinking less.  He hopes that Dean will ask him for something he really wants or needs, because they don’t ever talk about stuff like this, he has no idea what Dean will come up with.

“Like what?”

“I don’t know, something about me you’d like me to try to change.”

“We better sit down, this is a long list I’ve got to choose from.” Dean teases.

Sam sits down abruptly on the sleeping bag and pad, frowning and pulling in on himself.

Dean looks down at him, shaking his head.  “Sam, c’mon look at me.” Sam looks up slowly, meeting Dean’s twinkling eyes and dawning grin, he smiles uncertainly.  “You gotta know that was a joke. Actually it’s a good thing you’re sitting because it will take me a while to even think of what to ask you.”

Sam pats the sleeping bag next to him.  Dean folds himself down and sits up against the wall leaning into his brother’s side.  “So I was thinking about your hallucinating thing.  You haven’t told me much lately. Is that all that’s going on with you still?”

“Pretty much, I’m getting more of them lately, but it seems like it’s in control though. At least as much as it can be.”

“What happens when you hallucinate, can you tell one is starting, how does it work?”

“Yeah, uh sure I guess, well usually before I see anything I hear it or smell it, sometimes feel it.  That’s my tip off to start to try to deal or get ready.”

“Alright, that’s what I’m asking you for then.  Part of you getting ready to deal with an oncoming hallucination is to signal me somehow.  I want to try and help you Sam, and it would be better to know what’s happening.  You think you can do that?”

“Yeah sure, I’ll try. Don’t think it will do much good.”

“Why Sam?”

“Just, what are you going to do when I signal you?”

“I’m going to hold your hand.”

“Hold my hand.  Why would you think that will help?”

“Well, I figure it worked in the warehouse when you were waving a gun around, and I’ve seen you pushing on your scar a lot when you look upset, so if I hold that hand, maybe you’ll be able to stay here with me.”

“Huh.”

“Yeah, that’s right, huh.  Dude, we just managed to communicate through sixty-eight years of time between us.  I think we can do it through a hallucination.  Just.  You gotta let me know when it’s happening okay?”

“Yeah, okay Dean, I’ll try.  And you’re right, communicating over all those years like that was…well it was amazing.  You have no idea how happy I was when I found the SAM you carved and the letter you left me.  Jody had to ask me to stop bouncing around.”

“You can thank Back to the Future 3 for that one.”

Once he’s done laughing, Sam turns and looks at Dean seriously, enclosing his brother’s hands in his larger colder ones “Dean, we are never ever replacing that baseboard in this room. Promise me.”

“No problemo Sammy.  You gotta carve my name someplace in here though okay?  That way it will be like in the Impala.”

A funny look comes over Sam’s face, as if he’s being drawn back inside himself and he speaks slowly without much inflection, ghost quiet.  “I remembered that you know, us carving our initials in the Impala.”
“When Sam, when did you remember?” Dean asks him urgently, needing to know why he’s talking like this, so removed and remote.

Sam answers as if he’s under deep hypnosis, “When I was trying to get control of Him.”

“Who Sam? When?”

“Lucifer.  In Stull.  It helped me beat him.”

“Just remembering us carving our initials in the Impala helped you beat Lucifer?”

“Yeah, and other stuff too, but that was one of the main memories that worked.  A lot of them were centered around the Impala though.”

“You never told me.” Dean’s blurts out in awed surprise, how could it be he never knew this.

“You never asked.”  Sam comes back to himself when Dean kisses him for all he’s worth, one of those sudden bursts of passion that he’s come to treasure from his brother.

“Well, I’m uh, glad it worked so you could ya know, save the world and everything.  Now that I think about it, that’s something I’ve never forgotten doing with you.  You were so cute trying so hard to hold the knife just the right way I showed you. And you wanted to make a curvy S, but I knew it wasn’t possible with your little hands, so I did a straight line D to show you.  Oh god Sam no wonder.”

“No wonder what?”

“The Impala, we haven’t had her for a while, and you’re having more hallucinations the longer we’re away from her.  I bet it was helping you just being there in her with all the memories all the time.  Guess we better carve that name in here pretty quick, how about right here, on the other side of the doorway from the SAM I carved.”

They crawl over across the dirty carpeted floor together, Dean gets his pocket knife out and hands it to Sam.  Sam carves DEAN into the baseboard and sits back on his heels.  “There, guess this is the Impala room now.”

“Guess so.  Shall we put our bed or our desks in here?” Dean asks him with a smile.

“Where will we be spending the most time do you think?”  Sam answers all too logically.
“That all depends.” Dean answers with the tease back in his voice.

“Depends on what?” Sam asks a little warily.
Dean grabs Sam’s ass and squeezes hard, “On whether this is our honeymoon or not.”
Sam slaps Dean’s shoulder. “God Dean.”

Dean jostles him back over to the sleeping bag, lowering himself down over his brother, “Uh huh. That’s me, your own personal Sex God.”

Sam laughs happily and wraps his arms around him, pulling him as tight as possible, breathing him in deep and whispering into the side of his neck, “Dean I’m so glad you came back to me.  I don’t know what I would have done if you were gone for good.  I really don’t. I felt so lost without you.”

Dean caresses Sam’s face, looking down at him with that unbridled love that’s never dimmed between them, “At one point Sam, I thought I was going to have to kill Chronos and I would have been stuck there. Without you.  I knew I had to kill him, because he wasn’t going to stop killing humans, but I didn’t want to leave you here all alone.  I didn’t want to be there alone.  I just couldn’t imagine it. All those years between us.   Thanks for bringing me back.” 

Dean kisses Sam gently at first, a brush of lips and breath, a whispered thank you, then Sam moves his hips up just a bit and the kiss turns more passionate, Sam gripping onto Dean’s strangely slicked down hair firmly turning him just so, biting Dean’s lower lip and sucking hard.  Dean gasps and licks into Sam’s mouth, reconnecting with him the best way he knows how, pouring out all the fear from their separation, all the worry that they’d never see one another again, all the joy at being reunited and the sudden happiness that they’re married and have a home all of a sudden.  Sam returns it all, matching Dean’s passion and adding to it with his own worry that he’d be left alone to deal with Lucifer, that he’d have to handle the Leviathans without Dean, that he’d be alone in this house the rest of his life hoping for Dean to come back. The kiss goes on and on, both of them shedding a few tears with all the emotion that’s been released that neither of them will ever mention.

“I always will. Bring you back to me. You know I will.”  Sam swears so fiercely and intensely, sucking his promise into Dean’s neck, marking him to make his point.

Dean groans with the feeling of being possessed and so wanted, “Same here, you know it.” He returns the favor sucking his own mark into Sam’s neck.

“Yeah. Yeah I do.”  Sam can barely manage to answer but he does, it’s important that Dean knows.

“Good.” Dean’s glad Sam heard him, that they’re on the same page with the endless devotion thing.  Even if they never say it, he knows he’d do anything to be with Sam and vice versa.  They’ve been proving it to each other their whole lives together.  Both Heaven and Hell have found out the hard way that they won’t ever choose anything but a life with each other.

“Now what ever shall we do on the first day of our honeymoon Mr. Smith?” Dean teases, licking up Sam’s throat to his ear, swiveling his hips in a tempting circle pressing into Sam groin to groin to continue the delicious friction building up.

Sam moans loudly and grinds his hips up again, and answers as teasingly as he can manage, “I do believe we should consummate our marriage officially Mr. Smith.” 

“Oh man, I can’t say my place or yours, because it’s just ours.  God, I love that Sam.  The whole thing, getting back to you, being married to you, and having our own place.”

“Yeah, me too, all of it Dean, it’s all good.”

“Gonna make it better than good Sammy.”

“Sounds like a plan Dean.”

Sam starts the process of undressing Dean from his 1944 clothes, unknotting the beautiful tie, undoing all the buttons on the unfamiliar vest slowly, caressing Dean’s chest as the finely tailored shirt comes undone a button at a time. Sam plays with each nipple through the stiff cotton, gently stroking and pinching lightly, rubbing back and forth until Dean’s gasping and biting his neck again.  Dean’s just got his wool trousers on now, and he’s still rubbing up against Sam’s jeans, getting the rhythm going that always works for them.  Sam runs his hands up and down Dean’s back, gripping his ass pulling him even closer and tighter, groaning, “Don’t stop Dean, please don’t”

Dean doesn’t, if anything he speeds up his thrusts, Sam matching his pace, “Can’t Sammy, s’too good.”

“Dean kiss me, you gotta kiss me, please.” Sam begs.

Something in Sam’s voice gets Dean deep in his belly, maybe the begging, maybe the desperation borne of too much pleasure that he’s caused, but he finds his brother’s mouth once again and kisses him, re-learning the familiar taste and shape of Sam, capturing all the gasps and groans as Sam stutters his hips and slurs out in a delicious, delirious moan, “OhLoveYouDeanMyDean.”

And hearing that particular passionate confession is all it takes for Dean to join him in finding that momentary surge of bliss.  After they both come down a little, Dean rolls off to the side of Sam a bit, getting more comfortable and they keep kissing for a long time, reweaving their connection that was tested by this separation, until they both eventually fall asleep.

After a long afternoon of reunion, I’m so glad we’re in the same century, we’re finally married, we’re screwing in our own house for the first time sex on top of the sleeping bag, they wake up from another nap, both completely naked, hopelessly intertwined, entangled, blissed-out and both very much in need of a shower. “Hey Sammy you awake?”
“Yeah, what?” Sam turns his head so he can see his brother’s face in the dim afternoon light.

Dean reaches over and holds the side of Sam’s face gently with one hand, “I know I don’t say this enough but, I love you.”

Sam closes his eyes as if receiving a benediction, letting the grace of his brother’s words wash over him, opens them again and holds the hand Dean still has against his face, “I love you too Dean, and believe me, you say it plenty, loud and clear.”

Dean’s eyebrows pull a move straight out of an anime, shooting up so high, “Really I do?”

“Yeah, of course.  I don’t need to hear the words all the time Dean to know you love me, you say it with what you do and how you do it all day every day.  Like just being with me no matter what, helping me not crack up completely, making me laugh, pissing me off and kissing me all the time like you do.   You can say the words whenever you want though, I’ll never stop wanting to hear them any way you want to say them to me.”

“Sammy does it help, you think? Being together, uh, physically like this? You know with the hallucinations and everything.”

“Definitely. It’s hard to describe but when we’re making love or fucking or whatever you want to call it, it’s like the sensations that my body is actually experiencing overwhelm all the mental shit that I’m going through.  Like the real trumps the imaginary, at least for a little while.”

“Huh. Guess we are that good together.” Dean’s drawing patterns on Sam’s back, dragging his thick, callused fingertips in random loops and swirls.

Sam shivers from the intense feeling of his brother’s fingers dancing on his bare skin, “I’ll say.”

“Well, since we’re newlyweds and all, we’ll have to do it more often, just to keep with the tradition and all.” Dean gives him his most lecherous, well-practiced smirk.

“I think you’re way more into this marriage thing than I thought you’d be.” Sam attempts to scoff.

Dean whacks him on the back, a little harder than necessary, “Hey, you know me, I’m a traditional guy.”

“Right.  Because marrying your brother is totally the traditional thing to do.”  Sam teases and rolls his eyes like the expected true little brother he still is.

Dean’s face goes serious, and he stops petting Sam’s back, just holding him closely, “Not what I meant, just, I’ve always wanted this.”
“What being married?” Sam’s surprised at the sudden seriousness, Dean’s not usually like this.

“Not just being married. But being married to you Sammy.  Means something to me, more than just words on a paper, or a legal definition.” Damn that was hard to say, but Dean’s glad he did, until he hears Sam’s question.

“What’s it mean Dean?”
“Hah, you rhymed.” Dean trying to deflect as usual, to put a stop to the non-stop-chick-flickiness thing they’ve got going here, too much possibility for saying the wrong thing, he’s never sure of his words with Sam, it means too much, he knows that he’s got to speak the truth here.

Sam’s not giving up, because he knows this is the real nut of what Dean’s holding back, “C’mon answer.”

“’kay, means we’re real.  Together, you know permanent, committed, forever, all that.  Not just brothers, but more.  And I just, always wanted that, never thought we’d get there.”

“Oh Dean.” Sam’s so overcome with his brother’s words he can barely whisper.

“Yeah?” Dean’s concerned that he’s said too much, or the wrong thing because Sam’s so quiet and sounded so shocked.

“I didn’t know that.  I wish I had, because I’ve wanted this too, for a long time now.  But we did get there.  After everything that’s happened we did Dean.  Now that you got your wish, what else do you want?”

Dean decides to answer with the truth again, why stop now, just as plainly as he can state it, so Sam won’t misunderstand, it’s too important, “Never thought much past this really.  Didn’t think there’d be much more worth ever hoping for.”

Sam’s again overcome with what his brother is finally telling him, it means so much that he’s finally said it out loud, no more guessing that this is what he means, all he can do is offer, “Make it up as we go then?”

Dean’s relieved that his words haven’t upset Sam, that he seems so happy, “Usually works for us pretty well.”

“Alright then I’m thinking long-term, where are you taking me for our 50^th anniversary Dean?”

“Depends, what are we using as our starting date? According to your papers are we recently married, or have we been married a while?”

“I uh, had to pick a wedding date to put down on one of the forms, and I chose the day you got my soul back for me as our wedding date.”

“Huh.”

“What’s huh mean this time?”
“That’s a good choice, guess I got you a pretty good wedding gift then?”

“Yeah Dean, the best, hard to top that one in fact.  I suppose I owe you one then, a wedding gift.”

“naw, you already gave it to me awhile back Sammy.”

“What? I don’t remember giving you anything.”

“You came back to me, after you know, Cas broke down your wall, I’m counting that.”

“Oh, okay.  Guess that was worth something.”  Sam tosses off lightly.

Dean can’t believe what he’s hearing, so he grasps Sam’s wrists and pulls them up over Sam’s head, pinning him in place with his body, looking deeply into those familiar hazel eyes, “Sammy it means everything to me, that you chose to take on all of your hell and soul-less memories just so you could be with me.  It means everything that you choose that.”

“You’re really something you know that Dean?” Sam sounds so intense, almost pissed-off, but Dean’s not sure.

“What?” Dean is getting exasperated with Sam a little at this point, doesn’t he get it?  How much what Sam did means, how brave he is, how he’s Dean’s hero and brother and lover and everything all at once.  Dean holds his wrists tighter, kisses Sam as soundly, emphatically and passionately as he can desperate to get it across without having to say more of these words that aren’t working.

“The way you love me like this, I can’t ever get over it.” Sam gasps as he reluctantly pulls away just enough to meet Dean’s eyes, reeling from the kiss, from what his brother has said, wanting to communicate how much he gets what Dean is telling him.

“Get over what?” Dean’s confused, what has he left out, hasn’t he told Sam everything that’s in his heart tonight, how else can he make it clear?

Sam strains at the hold Dean has on his wrists, wanting so badly to hold him as he says, “That you’re really all mine.”

Dean grins slowly, releasing Sam’s wrists, “Show me then.”

Sam holds him close and flips them so that he’s the one pinning Dean with his body, smiling down into that face that he knows he’ll love for his whole life long, “Show you what?”

“Show me how I’m yours Sammy.”  Dean can’t believe he’s said it finally, but now it’s out there, they both know it for real and for true, what this is really all about, their mutual desire to possess one another, live in each other, wrapped up in their world of two, initials carved together in a car that saved the world, and names carved in a house that brought them back together through time itself.

Sam closes his eyes to read the name that’s been carved there on his eyelids for so long and whispers, “Dean.”

~Fin~

Comments

[acklecorn.livejournal.com]

oooh that was sweet!

[smalltrolven.livejournal.com]

Yes, that episode just inspired the sweetness, I found it just terribly romantic so I couldn't help myself when I wrote this!

[masja-17.livejournal.com]

aaw, sweet...

<3

[smalltrolven.livejournal.com]

Probably way too sweet, but hey, it was a very sweet episode that inspired it. Thanks!