Fic: Memory Box (Sam/Dean, NC-17) Part 4 of 4

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Back to Part 3

***

The first time they went out for food after checking out of the motel, the diner waitress tried her best to flirt with Sam. But he didn’t even notice until Dean was grabbing his hand and holding it on top of the table where she couldn’t possibly miss it.

As she left after taking their order with a smile that was bemused and a little confused, Sam leaned over to brush his lips over the shell of Dean’s ear. “Don’t worry, you know it’s only you.”

Dean pressed their knees together under the table in answer and fiddled with the straw wrappers, tying them into a complicated knot. Sam was struck with hesitation, he didn’t know if saying that was too much, or going too far. Maybe Dean wouldn’t want that, to be exclusive or monogamous or whatever, he just hadn’t even thought to ask.

“Wish I had those seeds back,” Dean said, letting go of the wrapper knot and finding his way back to hold Sam’s hand on the table top. “It’s hard to do it all out loud, I don’t know why, it’s stupid.”

Sam used the hand that wasn’t holding Dean’s and snagged a couple of raw sugar packets out of the basket on the table. He ripped the packets open and poured the large brown crystals out onto the white tabletop between them. Before he could second guess himself, he pulled his powers out of where they’d been hiding and set them to work on the sugar crystals.

You’re right, it is stupid, but it’s the same for me too.

Dean melted into Sam’s side with a grateful and relieved sigh, the crystals skittered around on the tabletop rearranging themselves into Dean’s answer.

I really like being stupid with you.

There was a long moment where Sam didn’t know what to do next, but then it was all clear. This monumental change in things between them hadn’t gone as far as it needed to yet. He had to make sure they were on the same page.

I assumed it was just me and you from here on out. Is it different for you?

What??? was Dean’s answer.

Sam sat up straight, separating their bodies, instantly missing the warmth of Dean along his side. But he wanted to see Dean’s face when he read what he was about to write.

I want you, just you, to be even more specific, just you and me.

The parade of emotions across Dean’s face covered the whole spectrum from sadness to joy, ending in a beautiful snarky smirk.

Duh, me too, of course.

Sam took a risk and snaked an arm around Dean’s waist and pulled him in close. This one had to be said out loud too, to make it more real. He made the sugar crystals move in time, forming the words as he said them softly, directly into Dean’s ear. “I didn’t know for sure. So I had to ask. Didn’t want us starting out with a misunderstanding.”

The flurry of movement between Dean and the sugar crystals was almost too much. Sam was enveloped in a full-on hug, a freaking diner booth hug. He’d never thought that this would be a thing Dean would do. And here he was doing it, in public. Not caring who saw them, or what they would think.

Sam glanced at the sugar crystals on the table spelling it all out, he could feel Dean watching him read what they said, that was why he was surprised to hear Dean say them out loud too. “I love you, Sammy.”

He didn’t bother with the sugar crystals, all of his attention was where it really belonged. “I love you too, Dean.”

They were interrupted in this disgusting yet entirely satisfying love-fest by the waitress returning with their meals. “Hey, do y’all need a rag for the sugar? Oh, ahhh, that’s just adorable. You two, are just too much.” She beamed at them after reading the words spelled out on the table in sugar crystals, evidently over the disappointment of not having a chance with Sam and right on into nosy stranger territory.

***

They took a few more days to get back home, Sam assumed it was both of them wanting to put off the inevitable conversations about how things would be different. He was guessing that it was going to be awkward at first, hiding everything from Mom and Cas, figuring out who slept where. Would Dean still want his own room? Sam hated that idea, wanted to sleep wrapped around Dean every night for the rest of their lives to make up for all those lonely too-close but too-far years. But he didn’t want to scare Dean off with his neediness.

It was all solved when they arrived back in the bunker to a note on the war table from Mary and Cas.

We’re glad you’re out of the clink.

And we’re glad you figured yourselves out too.

It’s about damn time.

Love, Mom and Cas.

“Guess Cas must have been spying on us again, he really needs to cut that shit out,” Dean said.

“Wonder how Mom took that news,” Sam said.

“I don’t really care, Sammy,” Dean said. “Now, it’s time to hit the hay, we’ve been in the car too long.”

“Okay, goodnight, Dean,” Sam said, fiddling with the torn duffel bag pocket that he kept meaning to stitch up. He struggled to put Dean’s answer into a place that made sense, did that mean that Dean didn’t care what their mom thought about them being together, or did he not care that they didn’t get a chance to tell her themselves?

Dean’s footsteps faded away down the hall, and Sam’s heart turned several degrees cooler, until he heard him pause. “You comin’ or what?” Dean’s voice had a lovely laugh to it, and Sam’s heart soared, no longer caring how pathetically needy it made him.

“Be there in a second,” Sam called out, smiling broadly to himself. He paused then, and closed his eyes, silently saying a quick prayer to Chuck or Whoever else might be listening. “Thank you, I swear I won’t take it for granted this time.”

The End